There’s a 12 step programs for everything, seems like. But there ain’t one for “Misfits.” Not one for “I’m so lost, God must hate me, why did that happen? Who am I anyway?” Lost. Believer or unbeliever, just lost. Not what you wish you were.
Even worse, they are always telling us “Be yourself.” But why would we? Nobody likes “ourselves.” We make do with what we can get by pretending.
Or…admitting we are powerless, making amends to beat the band…we accept who we are, as we are, like God MADE us.
Like Shrek and Fiona. Beauty and the Beast. Why do we love those ancient fairytales? We see ourselves. Loved anyway. Loving anyway. Living above the mirror. Above the blah, blah. Above the fray.
So we can decide to just do it. Be ourselves.
NOT somebody they’d like.
Not who “they” thought we were.
Or “they” wanted me to be.
Only listening to who God wants us to be. Using how He made us. For a higher purpose than the pretty, popular, rich, famous, blah blah. Hard to do, but hey…if an agoraphobic with low self esteem can write a public blog, it must be possible (yes, me). And here I am, puttin’ it all out there. Some gonna like it. Some ain’t. Don’t care. He does. That simple.
Cuz if I believe in God at all, I have to believe He made me. And if He made me, this is how He must have wanted me to be. Maybe not you, maybe not them. Me. And I don’t know “them” or “they.” But I know Him very well.
I may not please everyone all the time. I might not please GOD all the time. But I believe my desire to please Him pleases Him. And that He has already taken the bullet on my behalf for everything else.
When my dog had a litter of five puppies, they all were shades of brown, like her. Except one. He was spotted. Looked like a gunea pig. The runt, not very strong. All brown and white spots. I fell in love with it at first sight.
But the surprise was…so did everybody else! Every single person who stooped to look into that nesting box loved that little struggling spotted one! Every. One. Do you hear me? EVERY SINGLE ONE! That runty little spotted puppy who wasn’t quite like the others. The one who had to wait in line while its stronger brothers and sisters nursed. Had to stay blind a couple days longer than the rest, since their eyes opened first. Had to be last to struggle out of that 6 inch tall nesting box, when the others were out playing days before.
Do you see? God must love us spotted puppies best too, or we wouldn’t be here, would we?
So, if you need a little more than other people, hurt a little more, can’t quite keep up sometimes? You have a special place in God’s heart, I promise you. Does it FEEL like it? Probably not, most the time. But feelings are bats in a cave. Up, down, all around. But God? Real. Solid. Always the same. Those “everlasting arms” are wrapped around you, spots and all. Because He loves you with an everlasting love.
I used to love watching that little spotted puppy whine and yelp to keep up with the others, do what they were doing. Falling back in defeat most the time. Slow to grow, needy and weak.
Guess what? He became “Pick of the Litter”! The one everyone wanted. And made the most beloved, beautiful pet of all.
So, if we are a little different, we have to be careful not to believe what we hear or see or think ourselves. We have to be careful who we listen to. Listen to the One who made you like you are, trust His reasons. Be His “Pick of the Litter.” He knows what “they” don’t know. Holy! Beloved! Special! Pick of the Litter!
Be spotted, baby! Be who you are! Who you were made to be. And He will love you for it.
“The most important thing in the life of every man and every woman is not that they
should never fall along the way. The important thing is always to get back up, not to
stay on the ground licking your wounds.”
The Name of God is Mercy, Pope Francis