Love Deficit Disorder



Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it.
Love makes up for practically anything.
1 Peter 4:8 (The Message)

Sometimes I wonder, “Why did You make me, Lord?”

“To love and be loved,” He tells me.

Yes.  That is what we all want.  Even God.  Maybe that is how we are made “in His image.”


Everything rotten and ruined comes from a deficit of love.

Some of us always had it.  Some of us did not.  It’s the fault line, the watershed, the difference between us.

Because bad things happen.

Our hearts get wounded.  Then hidden away in the deep basement of our soul. We live above it best we can.  Craving love.  Seeking peace. Wishing for happiness.  Mystified by our own brokenness.

Because everything that ever happened to us is still inside, dense and convoluted like a walnut in its shell.

We try a lot of things.  Cry and hope they see our pain and give us what we need.  Heap anger and even violence on them, trying to force them to meet our need.  Kill ourselves, showing them what they did to us.  Drink or drug ourselves into oblivion so we don’t feel the need.  A million ways.  All of which tear our lives down around us.

There must be a better way.

And so we crawl to Jerusalem, limping, broken.  Talitha, Koum, He tells us. “Child, get up.”   And we learn to walk by faith, instead of by the white-knuckled greedy rage that kept us until now.

What do we REALLY want?  When we eat too much, drink too much, hate too much?  Throw dirt in the air, vomit the rage in words that tear our lives down around us?

Love.  Joy.  Peace.

Did pharmaceutical companies ever promise that?

Your favorite TV show?

You neighbor?

Your mom?


Only one person EVER promised that.

Just one.


We can hang on, tooth and toenail, to the old wounded, angry, sullen, self-centered flesh we are so familiar with.  And keep on being disappointed.

Or give it all up and let Him take over the reins.  Read His Word and learn to renew our minds to His way of thinking.  Thought by thought, reroute the lies of the devil still churning in our brains.

It’s not easy.  But it’s easier than being lost and without hope.  And if we still suffer, then we have His promise it is not for nothing, but for the greatest story in the world.

For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison…    II Corinthians 4:!7

 My only recourse is the expedient of placing at the service of truth what has been given me by the Father of Lies.    Leon Bloy





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